#todayithought

one day we will fly

i've consumed more tea in the last two weeks than i have in my life time...

i was trying to think of a time from my childhood where i really believed that i could fly. it seems like something a child could believe but i struggle to find memories from that time. Where do they go? The memories, i mean...

maybe there's something deeply sad about that. 

none of my childhood memories are solid, i could try but i'd always be questioning- did that really happen or was it a dream i had? i remember hiding from my dad under the bed until my mum got home and not in fun way...it's never actually the way we remember it, is it...? 

Sure i could start to tell you how i was playing in the sand box when i was five and he throw sand in my eyes and instead of crying about it, i pick up one of his tonka trucks and used my best aim and strongest arm and that's why he's still got that scar on his forehead today. But that never happened; it's just one of those things i tell my friend's in social situations when they ask "wait, how do you two actually know each other?" when really they're referring to a stranger, i've just met. i love strangers. infinite potential. and i talk to them like i know them because i want to- know them. sometimes i want to know who everyone is...

anyway i drew this #paperairplane because i could not remember a time when i believed i could fly... 

#todayithought

the first step is admitting it...

i like life;
that doesn't mean it's easy but i do like it and i also like to think that im deliberate in life. I deliberately don't watch the news; #donthate- i have my reasons... anyway i guess you'd say i accidentally stumbled across a news segment on free to air tv tonight regarding the violent murder of a British man.
This just happened to be after i'd finished watching the film exit through the gift shop.
Which just happened to be two days after some old ladies at an op-shop gave me free readers digest books about a war that happened before i was born....which happened to be just hours after reading something like "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things" plus this song has been in on my mind for so long now #maybeaweek [that song is beautiful and tragic and its the bitterness of the past and the hope of the future. It reminds me of how i felt when i first moved to Melbourne, just over a year ago. Also it's called new country]. Somehow [and im still trying to work out how but somehow] this is all connected for me and has brought to the surface the following questions:

 +that's not ok, is it?
+how can humans do that to other humans?
+what is art?
+if i own books, am i obligated to read them?
+how do we "think about such things" with all these distractions? #becauseidowantto
+how do we get good as doing this life thing? im mean consistently?
how do i write a song like that?
["look at the way it ought to be"]

anyway then i drew this guy and started this blog and thought about how much i don't know...