#time

#abouttoday...

"they took us on a little bamboo boat to climb one of the islands in ha long bay ["descending dragon bay" isn't the imagery great...] the four of us walked up together, something like a thousand steps he said. its good to get your heart racing, i love that feeling; i felt alive. when we reached the top, the white fog covered most of what would otherwise be a perfect view. usually im all about the view but in that moment all i wanted was to stand there, eyes closed, face leaning into the sky and to feel the cool, gentle rain softly touch my skin, gathering together; as it dripped down my cheek. i was really there...

I think im glad i didn't have my phone- all distractions avoided. Every moment is worth capturing and i would have stressed myself out with the amount of content... my eyes and my heart can take it in and keep it safe and store it better. When i really want to cement a place in my mind i draw the skyline with my eyes- follow it closely, every curve, every point and every empty space. And if no stranger is near i draw it in the air with my finger. So, from the left to the right, as far as i can see, it is all connected and it will stay with me.

Ho Long Bay is worthy of being counted as one of the 7 wonders of the world [not that ive seen any of the others]. 
As i walked inside the cave i found myself singing outloud and even though there were so many people around i wasn't as self-conscience as i am about those things. my left hand moving gently over all the stones it could touch, feeling the cold and the texture and singing james vincent mcmorrow, ryan adams and jeff buckley. Even in a crowded cave full of strangers i found moments of my own and was thankful for all that my eyes were taking in. We all had to follow the same path as there was one way in and a different way out. I enjoyed the sense of being together, moving together, yet feeling free to stop at any point, for any length of time while you try and comprehend how such a thing could ever be crafted.

i honestly don't mind waiting and really why are people in such a hurry- what is so urgent that to rush through life can be justified? what is so important that it must happened now? #iusedtobeinahurry... if i know anything about time- its simply that you can't change it; it changes you. 
And i believe this time has changed me and im yet to know what that change will look like or how it will out-work itself in my life. Things like this tend to not hit you for some time. Still i try to process as much as i can now, maybe to have some sense of self-awareness or become more thankful or even just to realize the small things about life that i haven't learnt or didn't know before. The more i learn, the more i see how much i don't understand and all it does is create within me a deeper hunger for understanding. im beginning to believe that this is the kind of hunger that will never be satisfied."