-when the snow fell for the first time
-hearing the french birds sing
-all kinda of smells that fill this place
-the tree out my window
-how i sat in the darkest room i could find for half an hour trying desperately to retrieve my exposed film from Paris
-how i danced alone in the ballroom and how it felt knowing that no one would find me there
-the freedom to open every door in the castle
-when i stood, singing aloud in the empty chapel
Every moment is so precious to me, yet they come and go so easily. i can't be constantly writing or i would not be living and would then have nothing to write.
This is my last night here, at the Performing Arts Forum. i believe i am learning a lot about myself.
In an environment where your time is your own and you are free to use each minute as see fit, from these five days alone, it would seem that these things are of importance to me:
+ my faith
+ having a lot of time to myself
+ taking long walks
+ being deliberate in loving others
+ music
+ bath time
+ long-term friendships
+ photos, capturing things visually
+ art
+ mindless movies; well- the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and the royal tenenbaums. Not that 'mindless' but rather- good entertainment.
+ poetry
i surprised myself on how content i was with such little human interaction. There were times i would go for hours, even a whole day without seeing someone here.
i think i like words, how they fit together, how they sound. How they feel, coming from your month and have they can make you feel.
There were things i noticed that i didn't like also:
+ i would have trouble sleeping, there was a constant tapping sound by the window in my room. I slept too long sleeping in the morning at times then i would start the day around 9am.
+ i think i should have tried harder to meet people here, instead of standing still on the stairs until i couldn't hear voices close by. i guess not be able to speak french is a bit of a barrier but not an excuse.
+ i would have like to further
establish my creative ideas and
challenge myself more.
There's probably more...
It has been a privilege to have this time. Our time- what we do with it, is incredibly important. i think it has been a healthy thing to reflect on how i respond in such a free environment. You may not have the chance to do something similar but you can reflect on your week, find your strengths, realise what you are passionate about and work on changing things you're not as happy with. What else is there to do in life but to become your best self.
It's a process. You're with yourself for a very long time, so do something today that will help you like you, a little more.
