York in Colour and the things i do when im alone....

the music while you read [optional]: Holocene- Vitamin String Quartet Cover

lately i've been thankful for having time on my own.

i have now had 11 weeks without a phone and its been a healthy thing, a good thing. 

im really good at being alone.

you should know what 'alone' is not the same as 'lonely', they are different things. 

here are some things i like to do when i am alone:

> take long walks, its easy for me to lose track of time now, i also don't own a watch. i think its good for us to lose track of time every now and then...

> i spend time writing. i find writing helps me process my experiences in life. i also write postcards to friends and family, i've sent over 100 in the last 8 months.

> i sing out loud/ i listen to new music. New music always makes me engage in the moment because its not something already familiar to me. I love singing and any opportunity when others aren't around, is an opportunity for me to sing. 

> i allow my mind to 'wander'. i use that word because a lot of the time, when life gets busy, i tend to keep my thoughts focused and will cut off those wandering thoughts; that usually lead to beautiful things like ideas and bravery.
So when i have time on my own i make sure i allow my thoughts to wander as far as they may. 

> i actively smile and make eye-contact. its very easy to forget to smile and there is some science behind why its good for you. For me, it is a physical response to thankfulness and a fun thing for the strangers around me. 

> i go to a place i've never been before. In a very small way, this helps me break habits of comfort and familiarity. That i don't want in my life.

> i try something i don't know much about. like cooking something i've never made before or trying a way of art that i've never used. eg- recently i went to my first life drawing class in London.

> i watch a movie, just cos i like movies. 

> i lay on the ground for a while. I used to do it for a whole song, usually 3-5 minutes, just to prove to myself that i can be still. i don't have music with me now, cos i don't have a phone so i just guess how many minutes go by while i look up into the sky #seewhatididthere? 

> i talk to a nearby stranger, like i said before alone doesn't have to mean lonely. 

> I will make a piece of art and hide it under my bed. one of these days i'll frame something and hang it on a wall.  

> i will write lists. lists help me prioritise things.

> i am content to take myself out for a meal- breakfast, lunch or dinner. 

> as much as i love my own time, its really wonderful to have amazing humans in your life too.

and York was really pretty.

the light i found near kelsterbach

 help my bones

 

 = it might be over soon =

 

 and i lift my eyes to where my help comes from

my favorite alone experience. 

 

 

    the light i found near kelsterbach.

adoption.

 

= turning to waltz, hold high in the lowlands =

#boniverandpineapplejuice

#abouttoday...

"after a good 2 and a half hrs on the bike, i rode back at night and the streets were lit up and alive and the cool breeze was flowing through my hair and i felt safe while i was moving and i thought "if you keep moving you won't get hurt". i had reached the hostel but didnt want the bike ride to end, so i went up and down the highway by the beach. Singing Bon Iver to myself along the open road, the street light flickered above me and i looked up and breathed in and it was just a perfect moment. I love the beach at night.

That night back at the hostel, i met Wayne, a friendly englishmen who had seen me walking on the beach earlier that day. He said he knew it was me because of the flowers in my hair. we talked for a couple of hours while i cleared out the pineapple juice that had spilt through my bag on the bike ride... He thought it was strange to see a 'westerner' wearing a face mask. i said "you know you're not that different right? i mean- you know we're all just people? besides everyone's doing it; im just keeping up with the fashion..." he laughed. 
"So what are you doing here; you had a love that ended in heartbreak or you buried someone under your floorboards?" 
"are they my only options>?" i replied.
"basically" he said
"well, i choose 'C'- all of the above" we both laughed.
"yes, i believe thats the way it usually happens." he remarked.

ive been in Vietnam for a week now and have written 76 pages of A4 notes. Wayne laughed at me for writing and said maybe i think too much and i said maybe everyone thinks too much, its just the quility of thought that varries...i guess sometimes you've just got to get out whats inside. Its seems that as soon as the thoughts touch the paper more and more and more flood me... #drowninginthought. This trip is, i think, the most selfish act i've followed through with but im deturmined to turn it into something better than that..."