#justfortoday...

#abouttoday...

"i decided to indulge myself into a false sense of security by being herded like cattle on one of those classic tourist tours, for a day trip to My Tho and Unicorn Island. A two and a half hr journey from Ho Chi Minh by bus. The landscapes i saw were colorful and disturbing and stunning and since mental pictures where now the only way i could capture moments, i was attempting, more than ever, to just be there and take it all in. The herd was made up of 3 Germans, 4 English, 2 Israelis, 3 Americans, 2 French, 4 Vietnamese and 1 Australian [#me]. After 2 bus trips, 6 wooden boat rides, a canoe trail, 3 islands and not one unicorn in sight...[clearly false advertising] i agreed that to be herded was exactly what i needed #justfortoday..."

#whenmoneylookedbeautiful...

February 18

#abouttoday
"today was... i hate starting sentences like that. Judging the day. why do we feel the need to say if it was good or bad? In any day there is the possiablity for everything, both good and bad and what it really comes down to is what we focus on... 

today while i was stopped on the back of Huy's motorbike, at an intersection, money flew into the air from a street shop on the corner. It was a very beautiful sight. The man next to me quickly got off his bike and assisted in collecting the money from all over the road and handed it back to the shop lady and i think i was more greatful to him than she was or it could just be a cultural thing, where they say thank you with their eyes, not their whole face or their mouth... in a way being witness to that made me feel good about life again...its insteresting how a simple act can do so much within you.

One of the girls who works at the hostel gave be the lonely planet vietnam guide for #free and im pretty happy about it. i keep wanting to write about all that i see but instead i just end up writing how i feel. i think im more interested in being than doing, here... and this whole concept of "feelings" is actually quite new to me i think. Since moving to Melbourne i feel i have become a 'truer' version of myself or maybe thats just what happens when you get older...
ive never really been in a place where everyone else can tell that you're 'not for around here' #nam...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNS74B6io4w

i feel like sweedeedee has been in my head for days..."

#myheartwillgoon...

#abouttoday....
"i booked a flight from Sai Gon to Da Nang, i was just glad to have plans since i had already expired all other plans i had made. The flight was meant to depart at 8.15pm, i got to the airport at 7pm and i boarded at 11:30pm. I consider my time as something precious , i value it more than money, and this place is spending it like there's no tomorrow...maybe there isn't. besides i threw myself at Vietnam when i booked flights thursday night and flew out friday morning... [jetstar Pacific is the equivalent to Tiger in Australia, and in every way tiger outshines them.] 

Trin was my taxi driver from the airport. He said he liked driving. He said i was friendly. He said vietnamses music makes him want to go to the water and jump off the bridge. He said it sounds too sad. He said he likes english music much better and wanted me to hear his #englishmusiccd... he played 'my heart will go on' from the titantic- celine dion and that love song from the movie 'ghost'..." #namtownadventure — in Da Nang, Vietnam.

#whereareyoufriends...

#abouttoday

"This morning i woke to white light, the echoing sound of children playing and some kind of woodwind instrument and i asked myself if i was still dreaming but my dreams had never been like this.
I walked onto the balcony and saw the primary school across the road. The pastel colours of the rooftops combined with the white haze over the city was indeed a sight...my eyes didn't believe my eyes.

Da Nang is a ghost town compared to Ho Chi Minh, i walked to the ocean and i was taken back to the beaches of the Gold Coast, it was comforting. The air is thick here which makes the mountains beside the sea look further away than what they actually are...the salt water is good for me.

i saw a little mouse on the beach, there frozen, i could see it breathing, i watched it closely and the first thing i thought was "where are all your friends little buddy?" and the second thing i thought was "i wonder if the Vietnamese people see me like i see this little mouse...where are all your friends little buddy"
i dont know, i guess a friend could just be the next stranger you meet, but here, trust is something different.
that feeling like it'd be nice for someone else to say your name out loud, cos its been a while- ive had that one now...

the sand has tiny little specks of fools gold and im glad i got that pedicure even though i was overcharged, maybe im made of fools gold or maybe im just a fool...either way im content to look down at my feet and have pretty red toe nails. i walked 14 km today and the sun burnt the back of my neck and the tops of my feet and palms of my knees. Its times like this i think maybe i should have packed sunscreen or a band-aid or had some kind of vaccination or told my family i love them haha #sodramatic."

#boniverandpineapplejuice

#abouttoday...

"after a good 2 and a half hrs on the bike, i rode back at night and the streets were lit up and alive and the cool breeze was flowing through my hair and i felt safe while i was moving and i thought "if you keep moving you won't get hurt". i had reached the hostel but didnt want the bike ride to end, so i went up and down the highway by the beach. Singing Bon Iver to myself along the open road, the street light flickered above me and i looked up and breathed in and it was just a perfect moment. I love the beach at night.

That night back at the hostel, i met Wayne, a friendly englishmen who had seen me walking on the beach earlier that day. He said he knew it was me because of the flowers in my hair. we talked for a couple of hours while i cleared out the pineapple juice that had spilt through my bag on the bike ride... He thought it was strange to see a 'westerner' wearing a face mask. i said "you know you're not that different right? i mean- you know we're all just people? besides everyone's doing it; im just keeping up with the fashion..." he laughed. 
"So what are you doing here; you had a love that ended in heartbreak or you buried someone under your floorboards?" 
"are they my only options>?" i replied.
"basically" he said
"well, i choose 'C'- all of the above" we both laughed.
"yes, i believe thats the way it usually happens." he remarked.

ive been in Vietnam for a week now and have written 76 pages of A4 notes. Wayne laughed at me for writing and said maybe i think too much and i said maybe everyone thinks too much, its just the quility of thought that varries...i guess sometimes you've just got to get out whats inside. Its seems that as soon as the thoughts touch the paper more and more and more flood me... #drowninginthought. This trip is, i think, the most selfish act i've followed through with but im deturmined to turn it into something better than that..."

#motorbikesandtomthegermanguy...

#abouttoday...

"Dennys and i hired a motorbike for the day. We explored the ancient ruins of My Son, rode from Da Nang to Hoi An- where the streets were covered in lanterns and I'd never seen so much bunting in my life [#buntingismyfavoritething]. There, i came across a little art gallery. I was immediately impacted; i loved the way Vietnamese artists interpreted their own landscape and i caught myself saying #mmmm under my breath, as if my heart was agreeing that what my eyes saw was good, indeed good.

We left for Marble Mountain- caves all through the inside, ways to climb up and in and around and over and i loved the view from every angle. Dennys didn't seem to be too impressed and i remember how she told me she had been planning this trip for over a year and paid four times the amount, that i did, to get here. She said she felt safer here than in her own country. There, she'd bought a car- it got stolen, she'd bought a motorbike- it got stolen. She'd bought a push-bike- stolen. i was now more thankful than ever for home. 

We decided we to return to Hoi An when the night arrived and the lanterns would be lit. After leaving the wondrous maze that is 'marble mountain', we meet a German guy named Tom, at the traffic lights, he was on a motorbike taxi and ended up getting off that and onto the back of our bike. The 3 of us had dinner together and about 45 mins in, we laughed as we realized that we still didn't know each others names. 

The restaurant was terrible, we complained the whole time but no one more than Tom, who insisted he called us 'Australia' and 'Chile' as he wasn't going to hang around long enough to remember our names...about 2 hrs later he apologizes and blamed his rudeness on his German heritage. The streets of Hoi An at night were enchanting; filled with colourful lanterns hanging, candles lit along the riverbank, music and cultural and we marveled at the architecture of the Japanese Covered Bridge. Every time we walked past a group of Germans Tom remarked on their lack of this or that [intelligence or fashion sense]
"you're frustrated at your own people aren't you?" i asked 
"yes, i am" he said
"and that's why you're here?"
"yes, it is" he laughed

Dennys and i are traveling the same way and planning on taking the 3 hr train ride to Hue tomorrow together. #namtownadventure

#itisworthit...

#abouttoday...

"As Denny and i walked across the bridge into the city of Da Nang we talked about the english words she finds hard to pronounce; words like vegetables and passionately. We were on the hunt for the 'Bread of Life Cafe' and we found it! it was so great for me to be there as it had been recommended to me, because i'm studying sign language and all the workers there are from the deaf community in Vietnam. Bob and Kathleen, the owners of the cafe, took me on a tour of the whole place to show me how its run. They employ young people aged 16-26 some are only there for a few months and move on; while others stay and work there for years. The cafe has been going for 15 years. I enjoyed so much talking [with my hands] to Chuong, the head barista there. It was the most in depth conversation ive had here so far and i felt very content to leave De Nang after having that experience... 

I couldn't take my eyes off the landscape, my mind wanted so badly to sleep but the rest of my fought my mind and the rest of me won #thistime. 
On the train through the mountains and the ocean view and the beautiful adventure and i thought of not long ago when i held my sister or she held me and i wept and the strength of my weakness at that time and i felt slightly distant from that moment now but that's the feeling i left behind and i wondered what would be there, in its place, upon my return... i still have to finish sign school, i still have to go to court, my love is still silent, frank is still one year gone, my aunty is still dead, my family is still broken and i am, in most common human terms- alone; and yet in spite of this my hope is being restored, even to the point of growth and my spirit is strengthen in faith and at times i do forget why but i am consistent in my belief that living is worth it."