#abouttoday...
"3 and a half hours later, we had arrived. it was like Hue had been swallowed up by a giant cloud. A white fog covered the entire providence and i loved breathing in the chill from the air... we walked into the direction that we thought the city was in, after successful avoiding the friendly locals [as in a little too friendly, as in creepy]. we stopped to get some street food and it was super delicious. Pho and other noodle options, the meal was 20.000VND- $1. I enjoyed it so much, i paid for Dennys meal and gave them a tip, they kept trying to hand it back to me, they didn't understand but once they did they kept repeating "cam on" [thank you] and i got slightly uncomfortable, it felt as though all the people on the corner of that street were looking at me, i ran away...well i walked away- quickly...
we walked for a really long time, in fact, it wasn't that long at all, it just seemed long as we were carrying everything we brought to this country. We were walking along the path, by the river, when in a nearby park i saw a group of Vietnamese, around my age, signing to each other. They saw me look as i was walking by, one of them waved, i waved back and signed "hello, im from Australia and im studying auslan- Australian sign language" they all left the park and came to meet me on the footpath. We talked for about 20 mins while Denny waited patiently and i interpreted some of what they were saying. I was surprised at how much we could understand each other, i showed them some Vietnamese signs, id learnt at the cafe in Da Nang, earlier that day...I was reminded of my sign school class, and the privilege it is to share time with those people four days a week. The Vietnamese kids invited me back to the park tomorrow at 4.30pm and hopefully that will work out, its just hard to say cos im planning to take the night bus to Hanoi at 5pm but haven't booked yet. i walked away from that interaction feeling great about life. They could understand me more than anyone ive met here..."
Tuesday, 18 March 2014
#1stworldproblems...
#abouttoday...
"the 'sleeping bus' was more like an adventure ride at movieworld; the only difference being- that is simulated; this is real...
we got on the bus at 5:30pm, the man made us take off our shoes and put them in a bag . Since my shoes had buckles, they were difficult to loosen and before i could even undo one shoe, the bus was moving with the door still open and the shoe man pulled me toward him just in time to save me for being road kill.
we walked down the narrow isle to the very back of the bus; bunkbeds all the way through. i laid down on the top level, next to the window. Bright blue, red and orange lights lined the roof and the Vietnamese music awards were playing on the TV. I looked outside and wondered why this is called '3rd world' and why is mine '1st'? and where is the 2nd? and what does it look like? arent humans so adaptable... and arent problems relative? and do they use the hashtag #thirdworldproblems? and do they have problems because they think they do or because the '1st world' tells them they do...and isn't it only in comparing "worlds" and things and lives that we come to believe we are "so different"? and is it wrong to see something as beauty when it seems equally as devastating as it is beautiful?
i dont know how anyone could sleep on the 'sleeping bus', i saw two people throw-up. The driver is constantly beeping the horn as the traffic is kinda crazy and then what i can only assume as giant pot holes in the road, so big, that when the bus hits one your whole body gets flung into the air and i dont mean once or twice. There's random intervals throughout the night where the driver puts on the red and blue light- right above my face and i wake up from what i can only describe as- 'eyes closed/using my imagination to pretend im somewhere else'. The sensation of moving while lying down was so strange for me that for a second, after i 'woke' i forgot i had legs- i couldn't feel them... in saying all that, my honest thought was that it was a rare and interesting (almost enjoyable) experience."
"the 'sleeping bus' was more like an adventure ride at movieworld; the only difference being- that is simulated; this is real...
we got on the bus at 5:30pm, the man made us take off our shoes and put them in a bag . Since my shoes had buckles, they were difficult to loosen and before i could even undo one shoe, the bus was moving with the door still open and the shoe man pulled me toward him just in time to save me for being road kill.
we walked down the narrow isle to the very back of the bus; bunkbeds all the way through. i laid down on the top level, next to the window. Bright blue, red and orange lights lined the roof and the Vietnamese music awards were playing on the TV. I looked outside and wondered why this is called '3rd world' and why is mine '1st'? and where is the 2nd? and what does it look like? arent humans so adaptable... and arent problems relative? and do they use the hashtag #thirdworldproblems? and do they have problems because they think they do or because the '1st world' tells them they do...and isn't it only in comparing "worlds" and things and lives that we come to believe we are "so different"? and is it wrong to see something as beauty when it seems equally as devastating as it is beautiful?
i dont know how anyone could sleep on the 'sleeping bus', i saw two people throw-up. The driver is constantly beeping the horn as the traffic is kinda crazy and then what i can only assume as giant pot holes in the road, so big, that when the bus hits one your whole body gets flung into the air and i dont mean once or twice. There's random intervals throughout the night where the driver puts on the red and blue light- right above my face and i wake up from what i can only describe as- 'eyes closed/using my imagination to pretend im somewhere else'. The sensation of moving while lying down was so strange for me that for a second, after i 'woke' i forgot i had legs- i couldn't feel them... in saying all that, my honest thought was that it was a rare and interesting (almost enjoyable) experience."
#stay...
#abouttoday
"i am not happy here... In Hanoi. I miss Hue already. i keep thinking its best to move on, safer or something and then when i get to the next place, i feel it wasn't enough, that i moved on too soon.
the Vietnamese ATM ate my only bank card and making those calls to ANZ and Visa cash emergency was difficult. My phone being long gone, borrowing a phone, the line breaking up, the disconnect, the calling back, the line breaking up again and yelling [not in an angry way, in a deliberate way] the personal details, numbers; things i care nothing for but are attached to me whether i like it or not...
i like the traditional Vietnamese coffee, it has character, a bite to it; almost like a liqueur but of course when it comes to coffee not much can come close to Melbourne quality. Fried eggs for breakfast and a man across the cafe, also from a foreign country, watching me. i should drink more water... so much has happened and ive written so much but there are still things ive missed and i think to myself "did i already write that down and its coming back to me or am i keeping it in mind, as to remember to write it out?"
i loved the hostel in Hue and the pregnant lady who owned it and was due to have her baby on my birthday. i loved that massage [i would have never thought that someone standing on you could be so beneficial], i loved that annoying coffee man who stood on the corner and asked me in for coffee every time i walked by. i loved that street food that i can't describe, that i went back for 4 times in one day. i loved my new Vietnamese friends from the deaf community that i met in the park by the river. i loved riding the motorbike around, getting lost and seeing all the different shades of green.#imisshue [#itsaplace]
Dennys said if she was me she would be crying and crying and crying- they were here exact words...
Maybe that's the thing about moving on too quickly- maybe you miss something, something that was meant for you, something worth hanging around for. And being brave enough to stay even though you might get hurt... we'll thats life really isn't it... and life is very hard and very beautiful."
"i am not happy here... In Hanoi. I miss Hue already. i keep thinking its best to move on, safer or something and then when i get to the next place, i feel it wasn't enough, that i moved on too soon.
the Vietnamese ATM ate my only bank card and making those calls to ANZ and Visa cash emergency was difficult. My phone being long gone, borrowing a phone, the line breaking up, the disconnect, the calling back, the line breaking up again and yelling [not in an angry way, in a deliberate way] the personal details, numbers; things i care nothing for but are attached to me whether i like it or not...
i like the traditional Vietnamese coffee, it has character, a bite to it; almost like a liqueur but of course when it comes to coffee not much can come close to Melbourne quality. Fried eggs for breakfast and a man across the cafe, also from a foreign country, watching me. i should drink more water... so much has happened and ive written so much but there are still things ive missed and i think to myself "did i already write that down and its coming back to me or am i keeping it in mind, as to remember to write it out?"
i loved the hostel in Hue and the pregnant lady who owned it and was due to have her baby on my birthday. i loved that massage [i would have never thought that someone standing on you could be so beneficial], i loved that annoying coffee man who stood on the corner and asked me in for coffee every time i walked by. i loved that street food that i can't describe, that i went back for 4 times in one day. i loved my new Vietnamese friends from the deaf community that i met in the park by the river. i loved riding the motorbike around, getting lost and seeing all the different shades of green.#imisshue [#itsaplace]
Dennys said if she was me she would be crying and crying and crying- they were here exact words...
Maybe that's the thing about moving on too quickly- maybe you miss something, something that was meant for you, something worth hanging around for. And being brave enough to stay even though you might get hurt... we'll thats life really isn't it... and life is very hard and very beautiful."
#baby...
more #abouttoday...
They want to take photos of me here
They want me in their pictures around here
A lady handed me her baby
A lady handed me her baby and I don't know why
A lady handed me her baby
A lady handed me her baby and I thought it might cry
But it sat in my arms with those wide eyes
It just starred at me and I was the one
I was the one about to cry... — in Hanoi, Vietnam.
They want to take photos of me here
They want me in their pictures around here
A lady handed me her baby
A lady handed me her baby and I don't know why
A lady handed me her baby
A lady handed me her baby and I thought it might cry
But it sat in my arms with those wide eyes
It just starred at me and I was the one
I was the one about to cry... — in Hanoi, Vietnam.
#music
#abouttoday...
"The people here are both mean and nice to me. I am getting frustrated at the amount of people trying to sell me things and rip me off. Being constantly approached by taxi drivers; the pounce on the foreigner, the fake friendliness, the dollar signs in the eyes. Trying to grab my bag out from under the bus... "Is this your lauggages?? Which which?" i've gotten good at saying "no, thank you, no" in Vietnamese. which is exactly what I said just before removing me own bag and hitting my head on the luggage gate of the sleeping bus. Yes, it was hard not to dwell on this small yet still bad start to the day at 5:30am...
I walked around the lake in Hanoi, I was wearing the red and navy stripped shirt that my mum had made for my dad; it made me think that maybe I have become sentimental again...and I like that. I was stopped twice and asked to have my photo taken with strangers and its a pretty small lake...
I don't feel so good today... Slightly unwell, maybe a head cold, maybe not...#idontknow
Later Danny and I went to the night markets and I was reminded that nothing bores me more than shopping... It was colourful and long and the same over and over and over again. People had no problems just bumping into each other, there was no attempt made to move out of the way of others, I found it strange and felt like I was getting touched too much...
I decided I would spoil myself on my last night in Hanoi by going to the "Lotus Water Puppet." Once I saw the set design, I was convinced it would be the best 100.000VND [$5] ive spent here, and I was right. I really like that word- convinced; its a solid word...
The puppety was amazing yet I found myself distracted by three things: the first- the smell of mold that floated through the theatre, the second- the disrespectful and excitable audience that were both loud and trippy happy [with flash] and the third [and favorite distraction] being the 3 musicians on either side of the stage. They were incredible maniulapuaters of the traditional Vietnamese instruments. The sáo man [sao- transverse flute made of bamboo or hardwood] was a master and I can see why the kids and the mice, in that story, ran after that guy with the flute...but I think it ended badly?? #dontremember #piedpiper. This didn't end badly, the whole show was performed in water, portraying workers in the rice fields and other daily activities through this art form and I felt I now had a greater understanding of the people and their culture here in the north..."
"The people here are both mean and nice to me. I am getting frustrated at the amount of people trying to sell me things and rip me off. Being constantly approached by taxi drivers; the pounce on the foreigner, the fake friendliness, the dollar signs in the eyes. Trying to grab my bag out from under the bus... "Is this your lauggages?? Which which?" i've gotten good at saying "no, thank you, no" in Vietnamese. which is exactly what I said just before removing me own bag and hitting my head on the luggage gate of the sleeping bus. Yes, it was hard not to dwell on this small yet still bad start to the day at 5:30am...
I walked around the lake in Hanoi, I was wearing the red and navy stripped shirt that my mum had made for my dad; it made me think that maybe I have become sentimental again...and I like that. I was stopped twice and asked to have my photo taken with strangers and its a pretty small lake...
I don't feel so good today... Slightly unwell, maybe a head cold, maybe not...#idontknow
Later Danny and I went to the night markets and I was reminded that nothing bores me more than shopping... It was colourful and long and the same over and over and over again. People had no problems just bumping into each other, there was no attempt made to move out of the way of others, I found it strange and felt like I was getting touched too much...
I decided I would spoil myself on my last night in Hanoi by going to the "Lotus Water Puppet." Once I saw the set design, I was convinced it would be the best 100.000VND [$5] ive spent here, and I was right. I really like that word- convinced; its a solid word...
The puppety was amazing yet I found myself distracted by three things: the first- the smell of mold that floated through the theatre, the second- the disrespectful and excitable audience that were both loud and trippy happy [with flash] and the third [and favorite distraction] being the 3 musicians on either side of the stage. They were incredible maniulapuaters of the traditional Vietnamese instruments. The sáo man [sao- transverse flute made of bamboo or hardwood] was a master and I can see why the kids and the mice, in that story, ran after that guy with the flute...but I think it ended badly?? #dontremember #piedpiper. This didn't end badly, the whole show was performed in water, portraying workers in the rice fields and other daily activities through this art form and I felt I now had a greater understanding of the people and their culture here in the north..."
#words
#abouttoday...
all the words i have written about Ha Long Bay do not justify it's breathtaking beauty... after my first night onboard the ship, early in the morning i was noticing everything, seeing everything and i wrote this:
all ships sailing
and there is now no difference
between the shore and the sky
all is white
floating
wanting to stay
to wait
when there is time
to wait
to stay
to hope
but hope is not hope when having
no, hope is grafted into longing
eyes closed now
white light, brilliant, dances around me
i want to pull it in
and keep it inside me
for when the fragile me
is eroded in parts again;
this bright light, brilliant
will shine through the gaps
the holes, the spaces, the pain
and when there is nothing else
this white light, brilliant, shall remain — at Ha Long Bay.
all the words i have written about Ha Long Bay do not justify it's breathtaking beauty... after my first night onboard the ship, early in the morning i was noticing everything, seeing everything and i wrote this:
all ships sailing
and there is now no difference
between the shore and the sky
all is white
floating
wanting to stay
to wait
when there is time
to wait
to stay
to hope
but hope is not hope when having
no, hope is grafted into longing
eyes closed now
white light, brilliant, dances around me
i want to pull it in
and keep it inside me
for when the fragile me
is eroded in parts again;
this bright light, brilliant
will shine through the gaps
the holes, the spaces, the pain
and when there is nothing else
this white light, brilliant, shall remain — at Ha Long Bay.
#time
#abouttoday...
"they took us on a little bamboo boat to climb one of the islands in ha long bay ["descending dragon bay" isn't the imagery great...] the four of us walked up together, something like a thousand steps he said. its good to get your heart racing, i love that feeling; i felt alive. when we reached the top, the white fog covered most of what would otherwise be a perfect view. usually im all about the view but in that moment all i wanted was to stand there, eyes closed, face leaning into the sky and to feel the cool, gentle rain softly touch my skin, gathering together; as it dripped down my cheek. i was really there...
I think im glad i didn't have my phone- all distractions avoided. Every moment is worth capturing and i would have stressed myself out with the amount of content... my eyes and my heart can take it in and keep it safe and store it better. When i really want to cement a place in my mind i draw the skyline with my eyes- follow it closely, every curve, every point and every empty space. And if no stranger is near i draw it in the air with my finger. So, from the left to the right, as far as i can see, it is all connected and it will stay with me.
Ho Long Bay is worthy of being counted as one of the 7 wonders of the world [not that ive seen any of the others].
As i walked inside the cave i found myself singing outloud and even though there were so many people around i wasn't as self-conscience as i am about those things. my left hand moving gently over all the stones it could touch, feeling the cold and the texture and singing james vincent mcmorrow, ryan adams and jeff buckley. Even in a crowded cave full of strangers i found moments of my own and was thankful for all that my eyes were taking in. We all had to follow the same path as there was one way in and a different way out. I enjoyed the sense of being together, moving together, yet feeling free to stop at any point, for any length of time while you try and comprehend how such a thing could ever be crafted.
i honestly don't mind waiting and really why are people in such a hurry- what is so urgent that to rush through life can be justified? what is so important that it must happened now? #iusedtobeinahurry... if i know anything about time- its simply that you can't change it; it changes you.
And i believe this time has changed me and im yet to know what that change will look like or how it will out-work itself in my life. Things like this tend to not hit you for some time. Still i try to process as much as i can now, maybe to have some sense of self-awareness or become more thankful or even just to realize the small things about life that i haven't learnt or didn't know before. The more i learn, the more i see how much i don't understand and all it does is create within me a deeper hunger for understanding. im beginning to believe that this is the kind of hunger that will never be satisfied."
"they took us on a little bamboo boat to climb one of the islands in ha long bay ["descending dragon bay" isn't the imagery great...] the four of us walked up together, something like a thousand steps he said. its good to get your heart racing, i love that feeling; i felt alive. when we reached the top, the white fog covered most of what would otherwise be a perfect view. usually im all about the view but in that moment all i wanted was to stand there, eyes closed, face leaning into the sky and to feel the cool, gentle rain softly touch my skin, gathering together; as it dripped down my cheek. i was really there...
I think im glad i didn't have my phone- all distractions avoided. Every moment is worth capturing and i would have stressed myself out with the amount of content... my eyes and my heart can take it in and keep it safe and store it better. When i really want to cement a place in my mind i draw the skyline with my eyes- follow it closely, every curve, every point and every empty space. And if no stranger is near i draw it in the air with my finger. So, from the left to the right, as far as i can see, it is all connected and it will stay with me.
Ho Long Bay is worthy of being counted as one of the 7 wonders of the world [not that ive seen any of the others].
As i walked inside the cave i found myself singing outloud and even though there were so many people around i wasn't as self-conscience as i am about those things. my left hand moving gently over all the stones it could touch, feeling the cold and the texture and singing james vincent mcmorrow, ryan adams and jeff buckley. Even in a crowded cave full of strangers i found moments of my own and was thankful for all that my eyes were taking in. We all had to follow the same path as there was one way in and a different way out. I enjoyed the sense of being together, moving together, yet feeling free to stop at any point, for any length of time while you try and comprehend how such a thing could ever be crafted.
i honestly don't mind waiting and really why are people in such a hurry- what is so urgent that to rush through life can be justified? what is so important that it must happened now? #iusedtobeinahurry... if i know anything about time- its simply that you can't change it; it changes you.
And i believe this time has changed me and im yet to know what that change will look like or how it will out-work itself in my life. Things like this tend to not hit you for some time. Still i try to process as much as i can now, maybe to have some sense of self-awareness or become more thankful or even just to realize the small things about life that i haven't learnt or didn't know before. The more i learn, the more i see how much i don't understand and all it does is create within me a deeper hunger for understanding. im beginning to believe that this is the kind of hunger that will never be satisfied."
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